Stand Up for Depression

STAND UP FOR DEPRESSION: A stand up comedy routine defending our right to be depressed

In Science they teach you how to conduct an experiment. Variables, Constants, stuff like that.

Here’s how you know Depression is ALL IN YOUR HEAD.
A perfectly sunny day emerges and you are finally happy. Happy, happy, happy.
Then, a week of cloudy days follows, you’re depressed all week. The variable you think must be THE SUN.
But then the sun comes back and shit, you are still depressed.
So what happened to the sun variable?  The variable must be your mind.
Experiment concluded.

Some therapists believe depression is anger turned inwards. No way. I think anger is depression turned outwards. Fuck you, former friend.

Speaking of friends, Who  wants to be friends with someone who is depressed? Put another way, who  seeks out their friends when they are truly depressed. It’s a no win. Bottom line: Depression time is time spent alone.

I get why comedians turn tragedy in to comedy. Who better to understand what is funny in life than someone who suffers? The legitimate defense mechanism for constant depressive thought patterns IS comedy. If you are  clever enough to figure that out– comedy is the cure all for depression. Besides it’s  legal and non habit forming.

I admit I’m a bit of a manic depressive, though I hate the sound of that as much as being called “neurotic”. You know no one ever compliments someone with “She’s awesome, and so neurotic”. As for my manic depressive tendencies, it could be a good thing, if my highs were high enough, but they are only mediocre. My lows, however, they hit pay dirt.


If you can be good at skiing and golf, why can’t you brag about being good at depression.

I AM good at depression, and I’ve recently figured out how this can be a good thing.

How’s that you ask?

Well, if you can get depressed over nothing but day to day living , think how prepared you will be when something really crappy hits you.

Unlike those unfamiliar with this mood disorder, you will hit depression  as if you’re spending time with an old friend. “This is so familiar”, you’ll think,  like we never were apart, because you never were apart.

Hey if depression were a sport, I’d be an elite athlete.

I’m pretty sure you can learn to live with depressive episodes if you know they come and go, especially if you have an arsenal of tools that work for you. My tool box includes: yoga, taking walks, forcing smiles, healthy foods, and of course an ounce of hashish brownies every day. Just kidding about the brownies.


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