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Jewish Holidays

Somehow the Christians hired a far better branding firm to promote their holidays than the Jews. The Christians got fun-filled holidays, the Jews got oppressive ones.

Two cases in points:
Easter vs. Passover and Christmas vs. Chanukah
Easter
Brand manager mission: Put a smile on every kid’s face.
Execution:Chocolate Easter bunnies, a parade with beautiful hats and bright pastel colored clothing, a hunt for chocolate covered eggs, foods like ham and mashed potatoes, songs about rebirth.
Passover
Brand manager mission:Stress out families
 Execution:boring Haggadah to be read responsively forcing kids to speak perfect English AND Hebrew at young ages, a hunt for matzoh, foods like chopped liver, gefilte fish and brisket, songs about slavery and freedom.
Christmas
Brand manager mission: Create a warm and happy feeling.
 Execution:gifts like a new pony, foods like lamb and mashed potatoes, gift wrapped presents flowing under a decorated tree, songs of the savior’s birth.
Chanukah
Brand manager mission(in modern age only): Make Jewish kids feel almost as happy as those who are lucky enough to celebrate Christmas.
Execution: gifts like books and clothing, foods like potato pancakes and brisket once again, games like spinning dreidels, songs about war and victory.